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[06 Nov 2009|04:42am] |
this is not supposed to be happening. It was Thursday night. Ashley, Faizan, and I were supposed to have a nice, quite night at Southside. We got there at 11pm, after Faiz picked up Ashley, and then me. Southside is quiet. It is actually small. It was where my parents met, hung out with their friends, and where my alcoholic aunt spent her bartending/drinking days before she turned to crack, crashed her car, went into "rehab" and then got addicted to prescription pills. After the second pitcher and second double shot of grape vodka, I showed Faiz and Ashley my Halloween pics. That is when I stopped paying attention to the people in the bar. Eventually Ashley and Faiz noticed 4 gay guys from Pulse. Ryan, Kenney, and Mike. Mike is, apparently, the first BOY Faizan EVER made out with. Christian/"Hat Guy", is hot. We had been looking at him for the first hour and had been debating whether or not he was gay. Turns out, "Hat Guy" is a total homo. He is a 7-month MAC trainee, and was able to guess the perfume I was wearing. MV3. And which shade of Studio Fix Powder I had on: C3. And what brushes I used for my eyeshadow: 242, 232, 217, 224, and Blacktrack fluidline. He knew I had Vanilla Pigment as my highlight.
We ended up at Mike's apartment. It turned out to be an apartment on Lake Morton that I have literally lusted after since I was 5 years old. 10 of use were there. Faizan and the gays were in the kitchen doing coke delivered by Eric the straight man that I went to middle school with and Ashley has had sex with. He and Ashley flirted the whole night. I was convinced he wanted to leave with her until Mike kicked the 3 of us out and Eric stayed behind. Faiz said Mike was buying a shit-load of coke, Ashley and I say the straight man was staying to put it in gay man's ass. Wouldn't be the first time that has happened to us on a Friday night.
Somewhere along the line I start talking about Ben. Faizan has seen him and knows he works at Chili's. Ashley doesn't understand why, if I broke up with him in 2002 while we were in Pensacola for college, beat the shit out of each other, called the cops, etcetera, why I am still looking for him in town. I tell her I am addicted to Love and I haven't yet, in the past 8 guys, found one to eclipse this brilliant, ruggedly handsome man. My boyfriend of 3 years, Lawrence, didn't even begin to measure up and now I am single. I have been single for a year and I will wonder "what if' until the day I die. Ben and I weren't supposed to be anything at 18, 19, 20, 21. Now I am 25 and he is 24. What if? I need to know. I haven't laid eyes on that mother fucker since I was fucking Ed, our friend from highschool. That was 2004. I took Ed's virginity. Ben told Ed that he could be with anyone but me. If Ben dumped Amelia, his then girlfriend, Ed could have sex with her the next day, but not with me, the girl he dumped 2 years before while we were living in the Panhandle.
Anyway, Ashley only likes black guys. This guy tonight was white and she didn't want his drugs. Mike was an asshole to Faizan 4 years ago and wants him now that he has lose 40 pounds. He asked Faizan to come back. Faiz isn't going back. He texted me at 4:30am from home and said that he wasn't really going to give Mike the time of day again. It just so happens that this Mike tonight was his first kiss, and there is another Mike that he has recently gone on a $150 date with. Different Mikes. They are both relationship retards. One wants to have sex with him while high on coke, the other paid $150 for a date to Downtown Disney in Orlando, didn't call or text for 10 days, and is now telling friends that he likes Faizan but wants to take it "slow". I guess that means not calling or texting for 10 days. Faizan is over that shit.
Kenney's 25th birthday is Sunday. We are all going, 15 of our gay/straight friends, to the Parliament House. It is a HUUUUGE gay club in Orlando but we aren't getting a room at the adjacent hotel. Just getting drunk as shit and then Faiz is driving us home.
I keep hooking him up with gay guys. First I'm his wing-woman for Mickey Mouse/Disney Mike, then MAC Christian/Hat guy, then I get us the invite to Mike/ 1st make-out guy's house. I'm done untill he gets me some straight dick or takes me to where Ben is hanging out with Chili's people after work. I'm not going alone, because then I am the stalker who called the cops on him once after he dragged me through the rain by the hair while I was drunk in Pensacola. Ben spit in my face during an argument, but I broke his nose once when he called me a bitch. He doesn't get to ask Faizan about my, my brothers and my mother while at Ybor Cigar and Sprits, 4 fucking times, and then expect me not to see him again. Brandon the waiter says Ben is on the schedule tomorrow at 1pm. Lunch at Chili's so I can see him again and either try to get his number or decide things are 100% over.
I got 2 numbers of guys that I never want to talk to again. I will not be getting THIS drunk on a Thursday night AGAIN. I am currently the kind of shit-faced I only get on holidays and birthdays (but Faiz and Ashley get on a regular basis.) I won't be moving to Orlando with Faiz in February if I can get a teaching job. If I work at a Title 1 school for 5 years I get my tuition loan debt erased. I drop off the face of the social planet if I get the job I interviewed for today. I went into it thinking "fuck this interview. I'm not going to get the job because there is an applicant with experience and I have none. The interview lasted 45 minutes and he asked if it was ok contact my college supervisor. No one has asked such in-depth questions of me or kept me so long. I still won't get the job.
I don't teach soon I will be working at the mall for the holidays because I actually have 10 interviews over the next 14 days, babysitting, and then getting a $200 a night serving job at Fulton's Crab House with Faiz. He starts Saturday and moves Feb. 1st.
I am piss-ass drunk, having a hard time typing, Emma the cat is rubbing on me, and my mom's boyfriend is moving around in the kitchen. It is time for me to drink a 30 oz. glass of water and go to sleep, I have to pick up my babysitting charge from school tomorrow, wait for the Elementary job yay/nay phone call, nap, and then go out AGAIN with Ashley and Faiz when they get off work at 10pm.
Andy is busy. I don't want to fuck him. We will get together and make out again. FOR SURE, but I won't be having a relationship with him. Me is an alcoholic and addicted to H. I'm not sure he can get it up exactly. I met his ex girlfriend. DO NOT WANT. I won't even be having protected sex with him. He has told me in so many words that his tongue will be in my mouth Saturday.
Goodnight.
Read this before it is gone!
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| Hally Birthday Paulie! |
[02 Nov 2009|03:51am] |
Paul is 30 today! In honor of it, I am supplying the BBQ food since he and Kennie usually do that. Of course, since he is the grill master he will still be cooking. Chicken kababs, sausage, and steak. (Yes I spelled kabobs, but you are supposed to read with a New Zealand accent!) Andy is bringing the beer. I simply cannot drink beer 4 days in a row. (Tomorrow will be the fourth.) Granted I usually drink the amount I have had all in one night instead of spread out over 3 days, but still... Everyone seemed to be appalled at the fact that I have never had Everclear. Apparently that is what Ronnie and Heather are bringing. (I still don't think Heather will ever be officially over being pissed off when Kennie or Paul call me to come over, and I heard Ronnie actually speak my name for the first time in 8 years today! The only real story there is that Ronnie was my first everything but kiss, and I actually broke up with him on his birthday. After going out with him for a year. I'm a heartless bitch. I still don't regret it.)
I asked Paul what kind of cake he wanted and he said a pussy flavored one. I'm not sure exactly which seasonings to use so that it comes out with said flavor though. He's just getting the usual Decadent Chocolate cake made from scratch. I will be decorating it with a giant vagina though. Kennie said to try to make a girl peeing in the woods so that it would be decorated with the hottest thing in the world. We'll see what happens.
What happens when Paul's 4-year-old Vinnie sees the cake? Maybe he will believe it's a flower. Hopefully Vin will be at his mom's house and just have a left over piece.
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[30 Oct 2009|02:17pm] |
Never in my life have I behaved like the Florida Southern students did at Kau Kau's last night. Synchronized dancing on the dance floor? Really? I mean, they were line dancing to some club song. That and hopping, bouncing around, and acting far, far too excited to be out in Lakeland, Florida on a Thursday night.
Overheard in the bathroom:
Drunk Blonde Girl #1: "This place is so gross.
Drunk Blonde Girl #2: "I know! Why do we even come here?"
#1: "Uh, because everyone else does!"
#2: "Oh yeah! Was that guy I was dancing with cute?"
#1: "Wait, you can't tell anymore?"
#2: "Well, I think he is. No, I cant tell. I would make out with him though."
#1: "I am so good tonight, I haven't made out with anyone yet."
#2: "Ew, I am not peeing in that toilet. Someone already did and they just left it there."
After about an hour of 3-way dancing with Ashely and Faiz, we apparently had admirers. I noticed the guys watching us dance all over Faizan, but I didn't think they would follow us. Ashley in her tube-dress, Faizan being his typical hot-guy self, and me in flip-flops and a Nirvana Tshirt. We were a sight to behold. Anyway, the dudes follow us out and one calls out "Hey Ma. [Seriously, white boys still say that?!] Where you off to?" "To the gay bar across the street", I yell across the parking lot. "Why you gotta play us like that", the black guy says. I repeat myself, this time with a little hand motion. "We Are Going To The Gay Bar Across The Street!" "Oh shit! You gay?" one asks. After that Ashley slapped me on the ass and told me to get my vagina in Faizan's back seat. We told everyone we were lovers for the rest of the night.
On the plus side my favorite toothless Tranny named Dakota was at Pulse! She actually knew my name. I didn't think anyone paid attention to me there unless they wanted to use me to get into Faizan's pants. I guess I scream 'straight' or something. Unless you want to count post OP "Stephanie" who lived with Wade. She was sad that I wasn't gay. She put herself in that predicament by cutting off her schlong thought. I guess she felt like a lesbian stuck in the wrong body.
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| FAIZAN'S BOY TOY! |
[30 Oct 2009|04:42am] |
How adorable is that? He's too pretty for me, but he's right up Faizan's alley. THE guy for the "guy who likes guys".
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| Ugh! |
[29 Oct 2009|02:10pm] |
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I swear The Bernie Mack show would be a thounsand times funnier if I could understand more than 4 out of every 10 words he says. I swear I'm trying. Maybe 4/10 is an exaggeration, but I swear I miss the point of so many of his monologues because he's not even speaking actual words. This feels like when I met my friend Matt from Cottondale, Florida. He was like a living, breathing Boomhower from King of the Hill. Only as Matt hung out with the rest of us who don't actually have southern accents it became easier to understand him. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[29 Oct 2009|01:19pm] |
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I AM going to make out with someone at Wald's Halloween party. It has been 2 months since my lips were pressed against anyone but Faizan's. Hopefully is will be my beautiful ex-boyfriend Edward, but he may be working that night. No wait, I vaguely remember kind of, sort of kissing Kennie, but I think it was mostly me trying to avoid his lips and him giving me a hickey. Ugh, I'll never drink a whole bottle of champagne for no good reason and be alone with him again. Kennie is still trying to find a DD for the party because he and Paul both want me to get 'Faced. That still doesn't mean that the 3 way they have been planning, and constantly talk about will EVER happen. (If I did that I would have exactly 2 friends left in the world!). I really would like to hook back up with Edward, but he might not be having it because he and Larry are still friends. Of course I would rather start fresh with a new guy I have no history with, but I really, honestly miss Ed. Ugh. I don't even want to think about a relationship! I'm just jealous of Faizan's crush/boyfriend and want something of my own. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| My computer is home! |
[21 Oct 2009|10:48am] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
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Who has a new display screen, hard drive, and Leopard (not Snow Leopard, but still...) OS? My computer, that's who! It was outside my bedroom door when I woke up!
They threw in the screen as a bonus. I didn't say anything about the little curly, spidery gray lines that had been appearing in the corners over the last two years. From Googling I know they cause a lot of people grief, but since I have my heart set on a new computer I didn't even say anything about it!
Since everything but my DVD-R drive has been replaced, this IS basically a new computer with an old processor. If that could be upgraded I'd be good to go.
Now it's going to take about 3 hours to get my music and movies back on the new HD and off the external. At least I backed them up a month ago during my initial crash!
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| What a let down. |
[21 Oct 2009|12:06am] |
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I was not impressed with Paranormal Activity. I would definitely be pretty freaked out if I lived alone in a wood-frame house with wooden floors and stairs though. Startling and 'freaky' it was. Scary it was not. I jumped twice, and said "whoa" a few times, but I won't be having nightmares. It's like The Blair Witch Project all over again: not actually scary until you go camping in the woods with only one or two other people. Luckily I live with 4 other people, a Doberman, another dog, 3 cats, and 2 birds. Our house is never as silent as Micah and Katie's. I did think that the house they lived in was the most beautiful thing I'd seen, but now you couldn't pay me to live there.
The quote about how "never before has a movie made you so afraid of your own house" might actually be true one I heard. Maybe.
I'd rather have paid $8.00 to be scared during the movie. My own imagination does that for free all the time. I should have just watched some TV show about ghosts.
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| :D Cross your fingers!! |
[20 Oct 2009|05:23pm] |
So, I walked out of the Padgett interview KNOWING that I blew it. They said they were going to call on Monday and still haven't. The job is no longer on the website. They gave it to someone else. I'm not bummed like I thought I would be.
I do really, really, really, REALLY want the second grade interview that I went on today at 10:30am. I LOVE the principal, and the 2nd Grade Chair was really nice! He walked me around to show me the 3 (!) other classrooms, and the one that I would be filling if I got the job. I cannot believe how small the school is. There are only 24 other teachers. This is EXACTLY the place I want to be in.
I should really have made a bigger deal about how I want to work in a Title 1 school, and I really want to work with kids who are struggling. Of course I love kids of all levels, but in my internship I made the most progress with the low kids. I want to help the kids who aren't getting it. I want to be the teacher than helps them understand and makes them WANT to learn. Where I did my internship, 80% of the kids are at or above grade-level. At this school, 80% of the kids are below grade level.
Talking to this principal I didn't feel scared. I felt excited again; I felt that passion for helping. Watch me be wrong, but I left this interview feeling like it was the one I'm going to get. It was my second interview though, so I won't be disappointed. I'll go where I'm supposed to be. The right principal will pick me for the job when I fit.
The Kindergarten interview went well, but my experience is with 2nd and above. Honestly, I don't want the Kindergarten job. It's not the place for me. The school is new and has been there for 2 years. It's huge and looks like a prison. There are f-ing guard towers with 360-degree views at the top of every building. The buildings in the back of the school are two stories and can see over the tops of all the rest of the ones in the front. I wouldn't be surprised if all of the new schools that are built post 9-11 were build as fortified complexes that can house either the military or civilians. The two new ones they built in this county sure as hell look like that's their purpose.
Anyway, I find out about the 2nd Grade position on Thursday. Something about showing me around the school, and taking me into all the 2nd Grade rooms just felt different. It's not like they had all day to spend with me either. There was another young girl waiting to interview right after me. I'm not getting my hopes up. Yes I am, but it's ok. Thursday can't come fast enough!!!!
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| Things are looking up! |
[19 Oct 2009|02:30pm] |
Since my computer was just repaired my computer is still under a 90 day warranty and my hard drive will be replaced at no cost. The logic board might need to be replaced too. This would be the 5th or 6th one I've had in 5 1/2 years! Re-repairs are given priority, so I might have my computer back by Wednesday or Thursday.
It's 2:33pm, and school is out for the day, but I haven't heard back about the Third Grade job. I have however heard from two other schools and I have interviews tomorrow for Second Grade and Kindergarten. 10:30am and 4:00pm. I don't want the Kindergarten job, but I'll take it. I have to start somewhere!
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| And on top of that: |
[19 Oct 2009|01:22am] |
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mood |
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 exanimate |
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After downloading and installing 4 updates on my computer this morning, it seems the hard drive has crashed. I was unable to repair it with the help of a phone Tech. It may be possible to fix the issue with a re-installation of the OS, however the disks I have are for Panther, and I'm running Tiger. This means that I will be driving 30-40 minutes to the Apple store to have that done for free, or to drop off my computer and possibly have to pay $220 for a new hard drive.
The plan was to NOT put any more money into that aluminum piece of crap.
I'll be doing that while waiting to find out that I didn't get the job.
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| It is officially the day upon which I will find out about my first job interview... |
[19 Oct 2009|12:45am] |
I am scared to death and panic a little every time I think about the phone call. I know I'm not going to get it. I will still cry when I find out I didn't. Part of me will be relieved, because I'm scared to death. I can do it, I just don't want to. I know it won't be so bad once I actually start, and I really love working with kids. I'm just so scared about being on my own in the room. It's time to grow up. This is why I went to school. I love doing this. If I don't get the job then I will be able to escape responsibility for just a little while longer.
I have put in a total of 20 applications now, and only 14 of those jobs are still on the website. No one else has called. I'm hoping that schools that posted openings on Wednesday used the rest of the week to let the resumes come in, and then they will start calling this week. Monday I send resumes into jobs that were posted a few weeks ago, and a few of those were taken down off the site by Wednesday. That means they were probably already filled when I applied, and basically don't count. I got nervous and started thinking that maybe I should have hand-delivered the resumes and cover letters, but the website specifically says to fax or email the pages.
If I do get the job then I will be putting the $100 deposit down on the apartment that is 5 minutes away from the school, and moving in December 1st. Slowly my dates are being pushed back.
I didn't get the job. I have the worst feeling in the world.
Maybe next time I will be able to get away without having to disclose my arrest. It almost seems like if I hadn't said that it was my first interview, and the principal hadn't asked why it was my first, then I would have been ok. I was so nervous. Next time it won't be my first interview, so those words won't come falling out of my mouth. However they may ask why I don't have a job yet. To which I will simply reply that I suppose I don't have enough experience and there have been displaced teachers ahead of me on the list. A principal will buy that because it is what has happened to all my classmates who don't have jobs yet.
Apparently the principal does the interviewing, but since my job is with the school board, they are the only ones concerned with the background checks. The system is set up so that schools don't have to bother with that part and are only alerted when there is a problem. There is no problem where the school board is concerned. It's not like I'm going to talk about my experience with Third Graders.
Tattoos didn't come up. I don't cover my foot, ankle, or the back of my neck, so I'll disclose those. In 4 schools and three years, not a single person has had the opportunity to see a tattoo on my chest or back. I have an arsenal of beautiful camisoles that I have modified in the sake of modesty. Cap-sleeves are the only things that might show my rose, and the solution to that is: Don't wear them. Until I decide that the principal is ok with ink, I will not so much as hint at my chest. Older women don't handle that one well. I don't think they handle arrests well either.
I'm screwed.
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| Woohoo!! |
[13 Oct 2009|07:13pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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I have my first interview tomorrow morning at 11:30am!! It's for Third Grade! That means we'd be taking the FCAT, but only Reading, Math, and Science.
Time to print out my portfolio!
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| Cross your fingers! |
[13 Oct 2009|01:52pm] |
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12 resumes + cover letters faxed! 16 job openings! One is at the school where I did my Senior Internship!! Another one is at a school I have never been to, but the new Assistant Principal, and the one doing the hiring, is a 4th Grade teacher that I worked with during my internship! She left her teaching job over the summer. We got along great and I helped in her classroom a whole bunch!
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| Up yours Crest Whitestrips! |
[09 Oct 2009|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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After only 4 days my teeth are so sensitive! Not even sensitive to hot and cold, just sensitive in general. I'm sitting here not eating or drinking anything and my teeth feel ache-y. It's like I just ate ice and have tooth-freeze (like brain-freeze, only in my teeth...), but for no reason at all.
I wish I'd seen the commercial for the Aquafresh white trays. "Less tooth sensitivity"!
The box claims this is temporary, but I want to kick someone's ass!!
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| WTF? |
[06 Oct 2009|04:09am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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No more staying up until 4am and sleeping until 2pm! I didn't even do anything good. The past few nights I've been farting around on the internet or watching the new (totally shitty) 90210 on some Japanese video site. Tonight I played with cats, arranged eye shadow palettes, re-pressed flaky mineral shadows, and de-potted MAC blushes!
My next dilemma: Do I depot my Hello Kitty and Fafi blushes? I'm having a hard time deciding to part with the LE packaging! I wouldn't have anything else to put into the pots, and it would be a cryin' shame to lose the Hello Kitties! I guess I could use them as little containers to keep stuff in... I just like having everything in palettes so I can see it laid out in front of me.
I am going to get up before noon tomorrow.
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| MAC Style Black Mineralize Eye Shadows, only cheaper! (and the results of a crappy camera!) |
[01 Oct 2009|07:24pm] |
So, I definitely could not afford $19.50 each for 4 eye shadows. I AM a MES addict, but I almost think that 18 different ones, and backups of 4 may be enough for me. I really, really, really wanted Young Punk, Blue Flame, and Cinderfella. ( I would have skipped Guilt by Association.)
WELL...
I had a sneaking suspicion that I could dupe these colors according to the swatches on Specktra.net. Boy was I right! The Intense Black Greasepaint Stick arrived today, so I played.
Greasepaint stick + TKB Trading Hilite micas = Mindblowingly awesome colors.
( Many apologies for the messy eyebrows! )
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